Thursday, September 29, 2011

Why is it good enough for her?

This is the conversation...

"Have you seen Anna Lou?"
"No, Why?  Is she ok?"
"Oh, She is more than ok!  I saw her last night, she looks AMAZING! Did you know she started walking and has dropped almost 50 lbs!"
"WOW, That is so good for her, I could never find time to do that!"

I know I am guilty of it, I do it all the time.  I look at other women an admire how beautiful they are and then make excuses and judgements.  "She can't have kids looking like that", or " What I wouldn't give to have a physic like that, but I just don't have the time".  There are all kinds of reasons I give myself.  I worked very hard and got to a point where I felt I could be one of those women that people talk about, then I blew it!  I made all kinds of excuses, I let it slip, and within 2 months, was back to where I started exactly a year before!  Why though, what made me think I didn't deserve to look like that?  What made me feel like all the hard work I just did was for nothing and i should just eat BBQ and drink all summer.  I wrote a post saying that I felt like I deserved to have fun after all my hard work, but was that really it?  Part of me wonders if I just didn't feel I deserved to be one of "those ladies".  I am trying really hard to get back on that horse, but often I find myself sabotaging.  I find some chocolate and eat it, I make a tuna sandwich but load it with MAYO, I make an awesome vegan meal and go for 2nds and 3rds, I know what I am doing is not helping my cause, but I still do it! 

I often hear other women saying how they couldn't do something, and I tell them YES you can, be confident, you are a beautiful, strong women!  Yet, I make excuses and reasons for my own lack of confidence, and lack of beauty.  How do I change that, how do I look at myself through the same eyes that I see all these amazing, beautiful, strong women around me?  I know I am not the only one, why do we feel this way?

This has been a post from the bottom of my soul, and a contribution to Shell's Pour Your Heart Out, over at Things I Can't Say.  Please click back to her and all the other great bloggers Here

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