Monday, August 15, 2011

By Definition

Dear Diary,

I little while back I read a blog post over at Not So Silent Mommy that talked about tattoos and what defines us enough that we would want to get that something on our bodies forever.  This post along with the up coming Memorial of my Grandfather is stirring a lot of questions within me. 

What defines me?  Who am I really?  When I am past what memories of me will remain?  So often I think I define myself by "what" I am but forget "who" I am behind that label.  When I meet new people, I introduce myself as "so and so's Mom", Or " His Wife", or "her friend".  I think that I along with so many others lose track of who we are and define ourselves by our situations.

"I am a Wife a Mother a Sister and a Friend"

BUT

Am I Loving wife, or a wife that just goes through the motions to remain in a co habituated house?  I like to believe that I am the loving wife, the wife that cares deeply for my husband, and does all I can to be his "lawfully devoted wife".

Am I an understanding and committed Mother, or is my fuse often to short and my patients too thin?  I want to believe that when my boys grow older that will say that I was a loving and understanding mother, and that together we created so many great memories.

Am I a good listener and helpful sister, or do I make time to really be there for her.  I think I try hard to, but do I often make to many excuses as to why I can't?

Am I a devoted friend, or do my friends too often take a back seat to everything else?  I know that all to often my friends get the "leftovers" after a busy week, the tired out nobs as they speak their hearts.  I know I try, but do I often fail?

AND
What would I write??

Aside from all that, without being all those things, who am I?  Why don't we as a society allow ourselves to be defined by the WHO, not the WHAT? 

I want to introduce myself as "Victoria, strong willed, independent, health conscience, loving, and kind hearted women", but for now, until I can really spend some time soul searching and finding out the WHO, I will take pride in the What "Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, Friend"......

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